Road Trip!

I love road trips.  Call me crazy.  I love my Jeep, the way it rides, the comfy seats, my moonroof and Sirrus Radio.  I look forward to 3pm when Dr. Laura comes on.  Sanity for my insanity.  I'm usually driving down the road, yelling at the caller.  Phew....rabbit trail...  Ah, yes, road trips.  So, referring back to the insanity comment made earlier, I buckle my kiddos up and set out for my parents' house.  Alone.  With kids.  It's about a 6 hour - ish drive and usually pretty uneventful.  The drive is pretty and mostly interstate, thankfully since Ariel gets car sick easily.  So after many are-we-there-yets and a few disagreements from the back seat, we arrive safely.  The good thing about coming here is the mini mom-vacation.  Of course all they want to do is hang with the grandparents and vice versa, so I'm left with little to do but, well, blog.  We've been here for about an hour and already the girls, including my mom, have hit the hot tub.  I volunteered to get dinner going while dad is napping, like all grandpas do around this time.  Nothing much changes here in this tiny town they live in.  My mom grew up here and they live in her parents' house.  Good memories for me are everywhere.  Seeing my kids doing things here makes me think of all the fun my brother and I used to have.  I hope that my kids can make lots of memories here and carry them with them like I do.  So even though the ride seems long to come here, it's always worth the trip, even when the when-are-we-gonna-get-theres are waiting for the return trip.

Bad, Unobservant Mom

The beauty of this blog is that I have two people that read this. I feel like I can journal my heart out and it can go pretty much undetected. So, please allow me to beat myself up a bit and then pour out my heart.

Belle, my sweet baby, is growing up. It's hard at times to come to grips with the fact that she is not a baby and that since she is my last, I won't do the baby thing again. Bittersweet. So that said, when she started talking a bit later than big sister, I didn't give it much thought. The baby talk began and it was so stinkin' cute. We mimicked her and didn't call too much attention to trying to correct her. Over the past year I have changed my ways and have started to help her talk more like a big girl. I thought that her issues were, in fact, non-issues, just normal speech development that would resolve itself in time. Hubby and I discussed it on many occasions, but always came to the agreement that she is such a smart child that it would be fine. When we started school this fall at home, and I have to thank the Lord that maybe this was His whole reason not to answer our prayers and have a Pre-K at school this year, I realized that there were sounds that she could not make even when I tried coaching her through it. The week that we were doing the letter S, Sandy Sunfish, and she could not, though she tried so hard, make the S sound properly. I called up her ped and made an appointment for later that week. We were referred to a speech therapist and went for the evaluation last week. Belle tested very well, above average in most categories, for language development. Her vocabulary is right on track, if not a tad higher, for her age group. But she scored as having a severe phonological disorder. Severe. I felt like the wind was knocked out of me. Severe. I didn't hear much after that word came out of the therapist's mouth. When I pulled my thoughts together, I had her recap for me, taking notes furiously. She was so kind and very positive. I had told her before the testing that I wasn't sure if she had issues or not, but we were still having trouble understanding her at times and thought we'd be better safe than sorry. She told me she thought we hard work that the problem could be corrected in 9-12 months with 2 sessions a week for a little while and getting down to one as soon as possible. On the drive home, I fought tears. I feel like I knew there was a problem a long time ago and passed it off as age appropriate. Hubby and I had time to sit down the next morning and go over what the therapist said and we both agreed to sacrifice to make this happen. One of the things we discussed at length was to not make Belle feel different or uneasy about what was going on. I have approached the whole thing by telling her that Miss Sarrah is going to help her talk so that people won't have to ask her to repeat herself. Belle seems good with the whole thing, taking it in stride and not being too effected.

Today was our first session with Miss Sarrah. When we got into the car after an hour of her being out of my sight and parenting (this was very hard for me!!) she didn't want to talk about what she did or what was taught. I knew from Sarrah that they had worked on the "s" sound. It took a bit of riding and bribery with hot chocolate from Tim Hortons, before she opened up to tell me. She sounded like she didn't mind it too much and that she had a good time. The therapist was young and pretty and got right down on Belle's level when she came out to meet her for the first time.

It is all about perspective though. Hubby says, hey, she has a speech problem, it's not cancer. Wow. Talk about perspective. I'm thankful that finally I took her for an eval and that we are working on correcting this, even though I'm a bit mad at myself. But thinking that this is something that will be over and done with in a year and not something like cancer was just what I needed to get my brain straight! So next Tuesday morning we'll head back over to see Miss Sarrah thankful all the way that my kiddo is not sick. And knowing that I'm one lucky momma.

SHE sounds like a NICE mom....

We are reading through the Little House on the Prairie Books right now which I am enjoying way too much. I love to read to my kids, not only to give them an adventure through the pages of a book, but to escape into my childhood and see these books that I adored when I was younger as an adult, as a mom, a different outlook on life. So we are reading Farmer Boy and in the story it was dinner time. The school teacher was staying with the Wilders and was in the parlor chatting with Father. Almanzo was remembering that he was able to eat all he wanted at the table, but he was to be quiet. I think the book even added the old cliche, children are to be seen and not heard. When reading this, I put special emphasis on these words. Sometimes at dinner, I feel like I can never get a word in because of the constant chatter of my kiddos. Trying to keep it all in perspective, works some of the time, but other times, it's just irritating! Anyway, Ariel looks at me and says, Mom, do I talk to much? My response is always, no, honey, I love to listen to you chatter. And I do honestly mean it, most of the time. Most, honest. We all started giggling, but I know that they both took it a bit too personally. Belle had her arms crossed and a pouty look on her cute face until the laughter ensued. The story goes on to say that since Father and Teacher were talking, Mother waited until they finished a sentence and politely (read quietly) told them that dinner was ready. Ariel says...WAIT! What?! The mom waited and didn't interrupt? SHE sounds like a NICE mom!!!! I know that after I roared with laughter, I asked what exactly she was trying to tell me. Ariel's response was that she seemed like she was a nice, quiet, polite mom who wasn't loud. She could not get it all out with a straight face and of course I responded with lots and lots of tickles demanding that she take it all back!! I look back to that time period with fondness, mostly. Thinking of the focus of work on the home and not pressures from outside as much as we do today seem welcoming to me. Since I am not the quiet, demure woman that Mrs. Wilder was, I think I'd have some issues with fitting in and not being labeled as the town crier. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, but at times I am envious of the lives that were lived way back when. Don't get me wrong, I'm quite content where I am now and I'd be working all day instead of blogging and most likely I'd be half insane with a baby on my hip and 4 more under foot. I'm too much in love with peeing indoors and having a shower every day instead of every week, that I'm sure I'd turn down opportunity given the chance, but it is fun to think about it. So the lesson that I can learn from my dd, is to wait until a sentence is finished before bellowing...DINNER'S READY!! You think I can put that into practice?

Blogging takes a time out

So, I had no idea that when I began this, only 5 short posts ago, that the summer would be unbelievably busy and that blogging would take a time out. I'm kind of sad about this because the summer was not documented properly. I'd like to think that all my pictures will be in a scrapbook in the near future, but I do know the reality of life with small children. Guess I'll have to settle for my Facebook photo album for the time being. So the Reader's Digest Condensed Version of the summer goes something like this....

We began the summer traveling to Fort Dix, NJ and then down to Ft. Belvoir, VA, thanks to the Army Reserve. I had some FRG training at Ft. Dix and Mark had to fulfill his duties as the commander and head to Ft. Belvoir for some briefings. We decided to make this into a vacation of sorts too stopping in DC, which was beyond fun for the girlies to see the sight from Night at the Museum, Battle of the Smithsonian, and then heading to Lancaster Co, PA, and Gettysburg before heading home. We went to my parents' house with our Jr. High teens for a reward for their accomplishments for a few days. The summer had been pretty rainy, but we did have some nice weather to go see a few sights. The girls and I went to a military kids' camp and had so much fun doing things like archery, rappelling, hiking and other outdoor activities with other kids who parents are in the military. It was good to meet others in the same boat we are. We had a week of camping with my parents at this cute campground with a great pool and nice paths for the kids to ride bikes. Ariel gained much confidence in the water and swims very well now with out her life jacket. She jumps into the deep end, unaffected by the water in her eyes and nose...accomplishment!! Belle is very brave and always wants to keep up with big sister and was doing very well with our her life jacket also. She scares me to a point because she has no fear. Amazing. We finished out our summer by heading to a local water/amusement park and hitting the beach the next day.

School started way too early, in my opinion! I was not ready for summer to be over. My tan was the best ever, due to the fact that one day sitting by the pool I failed to use common sense and got a bad sunburn. It quickly faded to a nice shade of brown, but now it's just plain fading. Ariel is in 2nd grade this year, loves her teacher, her classroom and her classmates and is doing very well. There were not enough students for Belle to attend K-4 at the school, so I am making an attempt to home school this year. I'm in love with it and she seems to be tolerating me well. Today we worked in the letter F and the number 7. She says her favorite part of her day is coloring. I am enjoying seeing her learn and seeing the light bulb go on. It never ceases to amaze me how God created brains and how they work and how they can take information in and process. I am so thankful for healthy, smart kiddos.

Hubby is coaching 1st and 2nd grade soccer again this year. Belle was allowed to join the team so all of them can be on the same team. I was worried about her, and her small stature, being on a team with the big kiddos. Then the second practice came and she went up against the big kid on the team and he ended up on the ground and she scored a goal. Worry is gone. Neither one of them are shy of the ball and both seem to be pretty aggressive. Ariel was playing half back and nothing went past her. Belle handles the ball better that a lot of the bigger girls on the team and does great on the front line. They both amaze me. Their athletic ability is not from this lady...that would be all from their father.

Belle is done her coloring and we are back at it again. Guess it's almost time to wrap up the day.

Mother's Day 2009

Mother's day, a day set aside for moms. As I think back to my mom and the legacy she left for me, the one thing that comes to mind is adventure. My mom could turn anything into an adventure, into something fun. Even if my brother and I were embarrassed out of our skin, Mom was still having fun. I hope I can pass that spirit onto my kids. On the other hand, I'm thankful for my mother-in-law. She is an amazing, kind woman who has accepted me as part of the family. I'm forever grateful for that.

But, now I'm the mom. I have kids to celebrate with and a wonderful hubby that makes me feel very special and spoiled. Hubby bought me a Cricut, something I have been eying for about a year now. I have been fooling around with it and I'm sure that the girls are anxious to get their hands on it. Ariel is obsessed with crafting and this is going to be right up her alley. Hubby preached at church this morning, he has a talent for bring for the Word. I'm so proud of him! We went out for lunch with the in-laws and it was nice to celebrate with them.

Celebrating mothers is kind of, don't get me wrong, but embarassing. We do work hard in our homes, but to me it seems like it is behind the scenes. I'm not much of a spotlight person, I'd rather hang out in the kitchen and do things that are not up front. I do what I do because I love it, most days, I'm not in search of recgonition. It seems strange to have some one bring to light the things I do on a day to day basis, usually with out much thought. It seems to be mechanical and unnoticed. But I guess that's the way it should be.

I'm thankful for my family, for my husband and my kids. God has blessed me beyond what I deserve.

The Movies and Growing Up

So, hubby is away this weekend doing some field training with his army reserve unit. It's hard to imagine all the pressure that he faces commanding an entire battalion and having all the responsibility that the position requires. I'd trade a girls at home weekend any day for that stress! When hubby is gone, the girls miss him very much, so I try to break routine and do something fun to fill the place that he leaves. Tonight we went to the cheap theater and saw Monsters vs. Aliens in 3D. It was so fun! We got soda and popcorn, a huge treat for us, I'm usually the cheapskate that promises popcorn when we get home. The only problem was poor Belle could hardly keep her glasses on and kept pushing them back on her face until at one point she decided it was easier not to use them at all, she said she couldn't see with them. So I offered to switch with her, thinking that the psychology of "momma kept them on her face and saw with them fine" would rule over typical preschool hardheadedness. So I put on her glasses only to discover that she really could not see out of them because of the haze of grease from the popcorn that covered them! The movie was super, Reese Witherspoon was wonderful even as a cartoon character. I really think that she and I could be great friends....if only I could meet her! lol Legally Blond is one of those movies that I have to watch when I see it in the guide on the TV. Anyway....before we hit the theater, we made a quick stop at Borders. I love Borders. Hubby and I used to go there on a date night, grab a coffee, and just hang out looking at books. Now that our life includes our kiddos, it's not something that we do often, but it was fun to go. The section of books that I was looking for was right by the kids section, so it worked great for all of us. They could look at what they wanted to and I could have some peace! They both found a book that they wanted and Ariel was reading hers to me on the way home. It's Junie B. Jones, adorable, but the grammar is awful! It's written from a kindergartner's perspective and it is the way they speak, but I hope it doesn't rub off on her! One of the teachers at Ariel's school has been reading these books to them and Ariel loves them. I'm glad to finally be able to see what she has been raving about. Anyway...Ariel was reading the book to me. Reading it! A chapter book! She amazes me. Yesterday Hubby and I were sitting on the couch and she was telling us about what she was doing at school and I looked at him and said, Wow, when did she learn all this? And Belle is sitting right next to me and says, "Our little girl has grown up so fast!". I lost it. It was so funny to hear that little one say the thing that Hubby and I say often about them! All four of us laughed so hard. The thing about it, is that it is so true. Where did the time go? Where did our little babies disappear to? I love the age that my kids are at now. They are a lot easier to take places, not having to haul a diaper bag and multiple changes of clothes around, but the emotional issues that we deal with are much more in depth. A kiss doesn't heal all wounds, and I know that we are just scratching the surface of what we will deal with in the future. I wonder about raising my girls and wonder if I'm making good decisions. I want them to trust me when they get older, trust me with their crushes and hurts and not force me out. Right now daddy and mommy are the best things, we are still fun to be around. I don't want that to end, I want them to want to be with us. I'm not saying that I want to be their friend, I want to always be the mother, but I want them to confide and to have the kind of relationship where we really know each other. Hum....too much to hope for? I hope not.

So on to less deep issues. Driving down the interstate tonight, there was a truck that was loaded down with round hay bales. It was funny to see a regular pick up truck loaded up and to see a big, obviously homemade trailer, following carrying so many bales, it looked like it could collapse at any moment. Of course hay is swirling in the wind all around, and my thoughts were....only here, in the boonies, would you see something like that! I wish I would have had a camera...

I'm Out of Shape

"One, Two, Three, Get off my father's apple tree!! Tag, Momma, you're it!!!" It has been years since I have heard those words and needless to say, I totally forgot their meaning. It's a beautiful day out today, one of our first of the year, and the girls and I were out enjoying it, that is, until Ariel wanted to play tag. I'm thinking this will be fun! Until while I was resting on home base, I got tagged "it". So, the reality check is that I need to dust off my elliptical and get moving so I can keep up with my kids in a game of freeze tag.

We all made dinner together tonight. Cannelloni. They helped me wrap the lasagna noodles around filling. It's so much fun when they help out...most of the time. The process usually takes twice as long, but when I stop and savor the moment of them wanting to be with me, knowing that I'm still cool to them, it makes the extra effort worth it.

I'm Cleaning the Bathroom!

Ahhh...My bathroom! It's the place that I retreat to when I need a bit of solitude. It's my escape when I'm having a heart to heart on the phone and don't need little ears listening or interrupting. I love to fill the tub up with lots of hot water and bubbles and soak the cares of the world away. Last summer, I ripped down the wallpaper that was barely hanging on, and painted it a sage green and bright blue to match the new shower curtain and rug. You should have seen the girls' faces when, as I'm ripping down the paper, I tell them to help! They looked at me and said, "Really? Is Daddy going to be mad? Are we going to get in trouble?". I couldn't help laughing and saying, "Daddy is going to be excited!! Rip the paper, ladies!". Ripping down wallpaper is equivelent to months of thearpy.

So...all this backgroud to say that I think Belle has decided that the bathroom is not a bad place to hang out either. She spends times standing on the counter, looking at herself in the mirror and singing. Today she was in there, singing as usual, and I said, "Hurry up, and come get some lunch!" And her response is, "In a minute, Momma, I'm cleaning the bathroom!". Needless to say, I had to rush in and see what she is doing. She was indeed cleaning the bathroom. She picked up all the clothes that were strewn in the hurry to get ready for church and she was wiping down the counter with a wipe. It was the sweetest gesture. Sometimes the kids frustrate me so much but I think that God gives us those moments, the gimmers of hope, that I really am not screwing up my kids too much, and gives me the drive to push forward with another day of mothering.

This morning, durning our Sunday worship service, I had the privlege of leading our Praise and Worship with Ariel. She has done this with me before, but today it hit me in a way that I have never thought of it before. Here we are, worshipping God, together. Amazing. There is nothing material that we can take with us to Heaven, but our kids are one thing that we can.

Let Me Introduce Myself

Spring...a time of new beginnings. Is there such a thing as a Spring Resolution? I have long since given up on my New Year's Resolution, so this seems like a good time to make a new one. Today was warm and I had all my windows open, the breeze was perfect. It seems like the perfect time to take on a new task, clean out a closet or start journaling. Journaling is a new concept to me, not that I hadn't thought about it, but to me it seems like it needs to be a long drawn out process with eloquent words and something of substance to say. But I'm realizing that all the sweet little things that my kids do are disappearing from my memory. Day to day things are important when you see how fast childhood flies by. My kids are growing way too fast. It's such a dichotomy of thought, I'm glad they are growing and are healthy, but I long for the day when they were so tiny, where a kiss made everything better. Now problems seem to be bigger, not as easily kissed away. Anyway, I guess the thing I'm trying to get at, is that life is going by at such a rapid pace that if I don't write all this good stuff down, I'm going to forget it, and blogging seems to be the way to preserve all these memories.

So, to start off....

"Ariel", 7, is my fashionista. We hit the bargains at The Children's Place outlet and the child had a fashion show this morning that lasted about 30 minutes with her trying on all her new outfits and showing them off to Daddy. She loves the bright, new spring colors and wears them nicely with her red hair and green eyes. The more sparkles the better. She loves to sing and has been composing songs recently. She amazes me with her insight and softness of spirit for her Savior.

"Belle", 4 1/2, is the snuggliest kid in the world! She has these huge brown eyes that seem truly to be windows to her soul. She recently learned what a butterfly kiss is and gives them very freely. For some reason, she is obsessed with ears. She "twiddles" my ears, my taking my ear lobe between her thumb and first finger and rubbing. It was something that she did when she was nursing and continues to this day. You know when you are "in" with her when she does it to you!

Hubby is the master of multi-tasking. I don't know how he keeps his life all together. He is a Sergeant with the State Police and he enjoys his job. Hostage negotiating and Incident Managment are his specialities and they keep him hopping. It amazes me how he can switch his mind set from call to call that they recieve. They get called to anything from a car going the wrong way on the interstate and debris on the road to bank robberies and homicide. He has helped motorists change tires and has pulled victims out from under tires. He is also a Major in the Army Reserve, commander of his battalion, and has spent a year in Iraq. Needless to say, life is never dull. We look forward to his days off and being together as a family.

Today was so beautiful that we spent a good part of it outside. It's so nice to be able to not have to wear a jacket. One of the girls' cousins came up to play with them and it was nice to have a chance to tidy up the house with out little ones underfoot asking to "help". Some times I cringe when Ariel asks to help, but I have to keep remembering that this time in life is fleeting and I need to soak up this time when she is still little and still wants to be around me. I know a day will come where I will no longer be cool and fun to be with, but will be embarrassing and not as much fun as the girlfriends. So for now, it's all about keeping perspective.

So this blogging/journaling thing is fun so far and hopefully a resolution I can keep.