Being A Wife

A few of us girls at church started this book recently, along with some homeschool friends.  I had heard of the book before, but had never read it myself.  I thought it would be a great challenge to work on this aspect of my life.  So often it's the kids that I'm concentrating on, but if I have no marriage, I have no family.

I'm one of those lucky girls that married a man who loves me, cherishes me and actually wants to be with me.  Despite all my "warts", he loves me anyway.  I'd rather be with him than any one else.  This morning he was late for work because he plowed out the driveway and shoveled off the walkway so that the kids and I would be able to get to the Jeep with out getting snow in our shoes.

One of the things that the book talked about and was discussed last night was the idea of always trying to court him, always trying to act the way I did when I was trying to snag him.  I did act differently then.  Make-up and perfume were musts.  My clothes were clean and I always showered and shaved.  I'd be cute and smile-y, always flirting.  Now, fast forward 14 1/2 years, I struggle to make my hair into much more than a pony tail.  I shower every day for the shear fact that I can't stand myself.  Shaving....I bought replacement blades for my razor for the first time in a year...please don't take that as I haven't shaved in a year, it's just that it happens so infrequently that I don't change blades much.  Flirting is something I haven't given much thought to because I always thought that we had a deeper relationship and it wasn't really necessary.  I'm a natural smile-er, so I don't have to give it much thought, but I do know that I don't always greet him with one when the day has been rough.  How hard is it to smile, flirt and smell good?  No hard at all.  I still am totally in love with this guy!  I think it's more about being conscious about doing it.

Okay, he's in the driveway.  Pep talk to self.  Be nice, be nice.  Smile.  Did I put deodorant on?  Hmmm...wonder where that lip gloss is he put in my Christmas stocking?  A brush...I know it was here a minute ago.

How hard is that?  Not hard at all.  I think the hard part is the "want to".  So often I get on my high horse and think of all the stuff I did around the house and with the kids that I think I get more points for doing the most, when all he did was actually get out of the house and go hang with the guys for the day.  I know he had a lunch meeting with the Sheriff and coffee with the local Chief of police.  I happened to drop by the barracks and there he was, chatting in his office with his friend and classmate from the State Police Academy.  The list of my accomplishments at home is long....school with the kids, 5 loads of laundry folded and put away, dishes done (no dishwasher here), all the stuff from last night cleaned up from the living room, beds made, kids are clean, dinner is made and put on the table, only to have to sit and cold while he is sitting in the driveway on the phone.  Of course from his perspective, I've got to hang out with his beautiful children all day and spiffy up the house, while he has had meeting upon meeting with every one from the Sheriff to the local PD to the Sergeant who had issues in his section to trying make phone calls to reschedule training for the specialty team that he commands to accommodate the entire team so he doesn't have to do it when he walks through the door, he wants to play with the kids, not work.

Perspective is a good thing. 

I'm thankful for my marriage.  I'm thankful for my husband.  I love being married and I love being married to him.  I want the same for him.  I want him to not only love me because he is obligated to, due to the vows we took, but I want him to love me because I'm lovely, because it's fun to love me.  I want him to be glad to come home and be anxious to come home because I'm there.

No too much to ask, right?  :)

Perpetual State of "Duh".

I used to have it all together.  At least I think I did.  I was educated.  I was a grown up, well, almost.  I could carry on a conversation with words that had lots of syllables.  I had an office job where I had to wear clothes that needed to be ironed everyday.  I miss that sometimes.

Like this morning.  My awesome hairdresser friend came over to hide all my gray hairs for me and I my thoughts were all jumbled and it came out as incoherent speech.  She laughed, she has twins...need I say more?  At times I feel like I'm constantly slapping my forehead in the "Duh" motion (I know you know what I'm talking about) and I feel like an idiot.  And it frustrates me...only for a moment.

Have I told you lately how lucky I am?  I am a lucky girl.  My uniform of the day is jeans and a t-shirt.  No one makes fun of me if I don't shower.  Everyone appreciates my limited vocabulary.  No one notices that I can't think an idea to it's completion because they are the interrupters.  I've decided that I'm okay with that, in fact, I love it.  I love being home with my kids.  I love living on the brink of insanity with the homeschooling adventure.  I love being able to be myself and being accepted as normal...it may be just because they have no idea what normal is....no, I won't go there... 

I was snuggling Belle in church a couple Sundays ago.  She was right in my armpit.  I whispered, "Does my armpit stink?"  With a straight face, she whispers back, "No, but your breath does."  Me: "I brushed my teeth this morning."  Belle:  "I think you are lying." 

How can you not love your life after a conversation like that? 

Father God, You are so gracious to me to allow me to have a family like the one You gave to me.  I'm in awe at your creation.  Please forgive me for taking it so for granted lately, I'm so blessed and so thankful.

Changes for us!

You know the feeling that you have when you know something is about to change, but you can't quite put your finger on it?  I've had that feeling for about a year and a half now.  We have gone through changes, like moving north, but never have quite had that "All Settled" feeling.  I was almost there, but then God in His perfect wisdom changes it all up.

Facebook had the short version, Blogger gets the long version.

Back up about 3 years ago.  Hubby told me about a dream he had, to attend the Army War College.  He told me it was a long shot, that only a handful of Reservists were chosen to go each year.  Fast forward to last year, his commanding officer, asked him if he had any interest in attending the War College and Hubby said...YES!!  The past few OER's that were given (Officer Evaluation Reports), his CO put, "send to the resident War College".  We both got excited at the prospect, but still understood that the chances of Hubby going was remote.  Last summer, he put in his packet, Army speak for application, and we began the waiting game, again knowing our chances were slim.

Going ahead with real life, we put an offer in on a house that we fell in love with at the beginning of November.  We were assured that we would be in by Christmastime.  In the beginning of December, we found out there was an issue with the title of the property, property lines were in dispute, making us unable to get title insurance.  Our lawyer suggested that we let the owner/seller hash it out even though it would put our closing later that anticipated.  Of course we were all for that until it began to drag on into the middle of January.  Still we decided to wait.  Our mantra became, "God's timing is perfect!", we trusted in that He knew what was going on and we wanted His perfect plan.

January 19th, it was a Thursday night, I tucked Ariel and Belle into bed and came down to a pacing husband.  He was hanging up the phone and the look on his face was that he was ready to pop.  I asked what was up and he said that his CO had called and thought his name was on the list for Resident War College.  Of course I said, "What do you mean, thought?".  His response, "He said he saw my name, but I have to see it!"  That boy could not get his computer fired up quick enough!!  When he finally got it up and going, it took a bit to get to the right page to see the list.  Thankfully, with a name at the beginning of the alphabet, we found his name quickly which was followed by "Primary", which meant he was not on a waiting list...he was IN!!!  I think we screamed, then cried, then laughed, then danced and back to screaming in the course of about 2 minutes.  He kept saying, "I can't believe it!"  As we scrolled through the list, we found out that in a class of 300 only 4 Army Reservists were chosen, and Hubby was one of them.  There has never been a Reservist from the state of Maine attend.

I'm a girl.  I like to nest, I like to plan, I like to take care of my family, I like to know what is ahead.  So, I get online and try to figure out the details.  I should know from 15 years of Army wife-dom that there aren't any details.  I did find the link to student housing and know that there are many types of housing there on post, some huge, some small, but I decided that I didn't really care, we are going to the War College!!  It is something new on my prayer list, I want to be exactly where God wants us. 

So, now comes the tricky part of getting the word out.  We knew that the State Police Commanders would need to be the first to know.  We are so grateful that they have been so supportive.  Then parents were notified and siblings along with a few friends.  Then the next that needed to be told was the Troopers of Hubby's troop.   The outpouring of congrats is overwhelming.  We are so thankful to be a part of this family of Troopers.  Lastly, a Facebook posting got the word out the rest of the way!

What's next?  I'm not totally sure.  I do know that at some point a moving company will come, pack us up and move us.  This might be in June or July, quite a narrow range, huh?  The house that we are currently renting has been purchased, but the new owners have agreed to let us stay until the middle of June, so we are hoping that this will correspond with the moving company.  I have no doubt that God knows all of these details already and has worked them out perfectly.  Again, I will say, God's timing is perfect, and truly trust that it is. 

The hard part now is waiting.  Waiting for details.  Waiting for the move.  Waiting for classes to start.  What an incredible adventure this will be for all of us!